Build It Through Honesty, Attention to Detail, and Time Constraints
Dating apps didn’t become ineffective or broken overnight. They slowly evolved away from their original missions because of engagement metrics, abandoned accounts, lack of attention to detail by users, lies on profiles, and fake accounts have taken precedent over the creation of real outcomes for engaged users. Over time, meeting the right person quickly was replaced by endless swiping through AI‑generated bios, recycled/stolen photos, and behavior with little accountability on the ‘users’, because lower odds of success keeps users active and paying for the service longer. This shift prioritized volume and revenue over honesty, verification, validation, and results, even though those qualities are what make real connections possible and relationships last.
About My Vision
This series of blogs outline how I would design a dating platform (service, app, and website) built from the ground up for real people, real information, real photos, and real accountability. This does not mean we are all perfect people, just real individuals that are looking for real outcomes, really quickly.
Who This Is For
Target Market: This service is meant for authentic humans between the ages of 18 and 98. If someone wants to show up honestly, be verified, and be intentional about who they are going to meet, this platform would work in their favor. If not, it will feel uncomfortable very quickly and that is by design.
This is not for: It is not for bots, scammers, fakes, catfishing, impersonators, AI, or anyone who believes anonymity should excuse bad behavior.
Start With Personality
Every user begins by completing a 10‑question structured personality inventory. The results are required, so the individual’s personality type can be displayed directly on their profile page above the fold.
This requirement isn’t about telling people who they should date, that’s their choice. This is about giving context to everyone before attraction takes over and communication begins. How someone thinks matters just as much as how they look to most, and it should be visible from the start.
Identity Verification Is Mandatory
Every profile must pass full verification and validation before it can be posted for matching. The verification steps will include the following items.
- Identity Proofing: used for account validation through a company like CLEAR.me or ID.me.
- A minimum of two photos clearly showing the individual’s face (for the profile)
- A minimum of two photos clearly showing the individual’s full body while standing or sitting (for the profile)
- A live face scan from their phone’s camera to match the photos they added above (this is not posted on the profile, and merely used to ensure authenticity of the account)
Identity Proofing
Identity Proofing helps ensure there are no AI‑generated profiles or impersonation of someone else.
- There are no anonymous profiles allowed
- There are no “temporary” identities allowed
- Accountability only works if identity is real and verifiable
Profile Content and Fields
Profile fields will not allow the copy/paste options that are built into smartphones and PCs, when content is being entered. Everything must be typed in manually by the actual user from the start.
This requirement prevents situations like the following:
- AI‑written bios
- Copied dating‑profile templates
- Outsourced content input
- Automated account generation
- Recycled content from other profiles or platforms
The stipulation isn’t meant to generate the perfect writing of content. This is about honest content and the truth… That’s the point really, to start off, “on the right foot” of a relationship with no lies or stolen content.
Familiar Swiping, Better Logic
The swipe experience stays simple and known.
- Left = No
* to pass on the profile - Right = Yes
* I want to match with the owner of this profile - Up / Down = View the account owner’s full profile
* from top to bottom or bottom-up
Behind the Swipes
What happens behind the scenes changes the entire dynamic in the service.
Left Swipe:
- If one swipes left on a profile, they will never be presented with that profile again.
- Then the left swiper’s profile will not be presented to the individual that owns the profile they swiped left on.
- Once one has zero new profiles available to swipe, one can opt to review profiles that they swiped left on prior from oldest account to newest.
Right Swipe:
- If one swipes right on someone’s profile, then their profile is prioritized for other account owner(s) to see in the first group they are presented the next time they swipe.
Undo Swipe:
- Just like a CTRL Z on a computer, this option will rewind a single left or right swipe if it was completed mistakenly.
This all leads to no shadow exposure or endless loops of seeing the same profiles over and over and over and over again. The goal is to have no pretending interest didn’t happen the first time or that you missed a profile swipe.
Radical Profile Transparency
Each profile would include behavioral and activity data, such as the following.
- Date signed up for the service
- Last login date and time to the service
- City at signup (GPS‑based, city name and state only)
- City at last login (GPS‑based, city name and state only)
- Number of likes sent since sign-up (right swipes completed by them)
- Number of likes received since sign-up (right swipes from others)
- Percentage of likes responded to since sign-up (responses over received)
- Average response time to likes since sign-up
- Number of messages sent since sign-up
- Number of messages received since sign-up
- Average response time to messages since sign-up
Displaying this data on profiles is not intended to shame members, it’s about transparency, helping one another create expectations about the connection they are seeking. This is the best way to begin any relationship, with verified expectations and closed loop communications. With this people will get to decide for themselves who is engaged, their required level of responsiveness from contacts, and which content is respectful since this data will not remove anyone from the service.
Messaging That Works Like Real Life
Messages can be sent and received via the platform, with email relay also available.
- Real email addresses are hidden within the service, while unique profile usernames are visible for confirmation.
- Messages arrive on the service’s dashboard and in your email inbox.
This encourages thoughtful communication instead of rushed, low‑effort responses.
Monetization That Rewards Outcomes
The platform includes advertising, but it’s designed to benefit the users of the service. There will be partnerships with local businesses that love to see those on first dates offering discounts or reservations in public areas. On‑site date events and experiences at local hot spots that include a fee to cover expenses.
Service Fees: Priced for Real Use
The monthly fee goes down when you actually use the service, not when you sit and scroll. The cost is reduced by the following:
- Written messages: that you send to other users
- Matches you close intentionally: whether by pausing to meet in real life, archiving it, or ending it respectfully.
Unread messages count against your positive impact on the site. So it is advised to respectfully respond to everyone, even if you know they are not a match. Ending something clearly is just as important as starting something.
There’s no reward for: The service isn’t trying to keep users online, it’s built to help relationship be created and move forward.
- Staying idle
- Ignoring your account
- Delaying decisions
- Hanging around longer than necessary
If you pause your account to meet someone:
- Billing stops
- Your profile goes offline
- Your matches are notified
- Everything is ready if you come back
The goal is simple: The more clearly and honestly users use the service, the less it should cost users ideally, the less users need it at all.
Usage‑Based Pricing That Rewards Real Participation
The goal is simple: The more clearly and honestly people use the service, the less it should cost them and ideally, the less they need it at all.
Fees: The service is billed monthly, one month at a time. There are no bundles or long‑term commitments, because people should cancel when they find what they’re looking for and not feel trapped in a plan.
How Discounts Are Earned
Each month starts at the full rate (100%). The cost is reduced based on real, constructive actions, not time spent scrolling.
Discounts are applied when users:
- Writes a new message to a new contact
- Replies to message a message from a new contact
- Archives or intentionally close a connection
- Sends a genuine like to a new contact
- Submits verified reports of scams, fraud, or fake profiles
Each qualified action reduces the monthly fee by 3%, compounding over the month:
- 100%
- 97%
- 94.09%
- 91.67%
- 88.53%
- 85.87%
- 83.3%
- 80.80%
- And so on by reducing the previous fee by 3% each
Only actions that help move conversations forward or help protect the community count toward discounts. There is no benefit to
- Staying idle
- Delaying responses
- Staying active without purpose
If You Meet Someone in the App, Just do the Following
If an account is canceled, no future charges apply: There are no refunds for partial months or unused time.
Accounts can be paused to meet someone in person: Billing stops
The profile goes offline: All data is retained and ready if the user returns.
- Pause your account
- No new account billing happens during the pause
- Profile taken offline so it cannot be viewed by others
- Current matches are told that you have paused your profile
- All data is retained, so when you un‑pause your profile is ready for viewing again
- Billing begins again when an account is un-paused
Cancelation Works Differently
- All personal data is emailed to the user immediately in spreadsheet form.
- Everything related to privacy is permanently deleted from the service, outside of payment and core account system data like username and password for next log in.
- Users are warned that returning requires starting over with a new blank slate in the system.
- They can import the spreadsheet they received to save time when recreating a profile after cancelation.
- Pausing is encouraged and leaving successfully is not punished.
Trust, Safety, and Consequences
All issues and reported items should be reviewed by real people, not automated systems.
EULA violations:
- Illegal activity: reported to proper authorities when legally appropriate
- First offense: added to the community’s view on the offender’s profile
- Second offense: permanent ban (because identity is verified through government ID, banned users cannot return under new accounts)
Actions deemed as violations have defined consequences on this service.
Legal Compliance Without Hiding Behind It
The service is built to comply with:
- GDPR / CCPA / CPRA
- Age‑of‑majority verification laws
- Digital identity and consumer protection regulations
Compliance is the floor, not the goal.
Consent Is Explicit, Not Assumed
Profiles are not visible to the community by default, until the user/owner agrees to the content they submitted, explicitly. There are hidden or pre‑checked approval boxes and there are no forced disclosures. If consent is withdrawn, visibility changes immediately.
Inclusivity Through Choice, Not Assumptions
The platform does not assume any of the following because the user fills in all the content themselves in advance of sharing their profile.
- Relationship goals
- Dating intent timelines
- Cultural norms
- Gender expression
- Sexual orientation
Every preference is explicitly selected, or that profile content is not shared, so nothing is inferred or guessed.
- This service isn’t trying to increase screen time.
- It isn’t trying to hack psychology.
- It isn’t trying to keep people single.
It’s trying to make dating boring in the best way possible by helping it to be predictable, honest, and grounded in reality.
- Fewer random matches
- Better understanding of matches
- Clear intent to find the right person in the right way
- Real people, not bots or AI
In Conclusion
This proposed (and perhaps imaginary) platform has not been designed to maximize screen time, exploit psychology, or keep people perpetually searching. It is intentionally built to reduce randomness, remove ambiguity, and make dating more predictable and honest by design. Every requirement including verification, transparency, explicit preference outlining, and visible behavior exists to save time, reduce misalignment, and encourage people to show up as ‘they actually are’ based on honesty and verification.
The result is fewer matches, but better ones because of less guesswork, fewer surprises, and clearer intent on both sides.
People are not optimized for engagement; they are respected as participants who decide what matters, what doesn’t, and when they are done.
If dating becomes a little less of an adventure and discovery it will be a lot more straightforward, which is a success. Real connections don’t need to be gamified to work, they need clarity, accountability, and the space for two people to decide whether they are right for each other, without noise, lies, or manipulation.
This is not a system built to keep you searching. It is built to help you stop searching.